Lessons I have learnt.
This is a compilation of some lessons I’ve learnt about life, overtime.
I am quite introspective, so I tend to reflect a lot. I also occasionally write some of these reflections and thoughts down. So, this list is one I have had in my notes for a while now, which I often update, each time I learn something new that I believe is important and worth noting down. I have just edited and fleshed it out for “public consumption”. Although some of you might already be aware of a couple of these things, as they are popular knowledge, I hope you take them as a reminder and some form of encouragement. Or however way you want to take it. If you aren’t, it’s always a great day to learn something new. Whichever category you fall into, enjoy!
Life is not black and white, it is mostly shades of grey.
I interpret this in two ways.
There isn’t one prescribed way to live life. Everyone has the freedom to like what they like, enjoy whatever hobbies and interests they choose, be what they want. We are all different people, with different passions, and equally different definitions of happiness and success. So even if you don’t understand, it is necessary to appreciate people and their uniqueness. Life is not a one-size-fits-all.
Don’t be too quick to openly pass judgement or take sides. There are exceptions to this, definitely. However, this is specifically in reference to issues, problems or misunderstandings that occur between or among other people. Relationships are complex and 10 times more complex, are us human beings. So, except you fully understand the entirety of a situation, which is often not the case, understand that it is very possible for both parties to be right or entirely in the wrong. Before you want to jump to interfere next time, chill.
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.
Molly Godfrey explains this well:
boundaries are a reflection of a) how you see and value yourself and b) the behaviour you are willing to tolerate and what you do or don’t correct.
The older I get, the more I understand the need to regularly set boundaries and more importantly, clearly communicate them with people and actually follow through with them. And this really does not have to be a difficult thing. When you value something, you put up boundaries to protect it. Pretty basic example- if you really value your sleep at night, it only makes sense that you will ordinarily not pick up calls or have lengthy conversations, past a certain time, and communicate this to anyone who is calling you to give you gist by 2am.
And it is fine we break them sometimes, absolute perfection is quite unrealistic. Just remember,
it is never too late to reinstate your boundaries, no matter how many times they have been broken by you.
You have to know what you stand for.
I believe it is extremely important that we all have a couple things (or one thing, maybe) that we value, because they help guide us through life. My major core values are honesty, transparency and kindness. I try to be a person who reflects all three and regularly self-reflect to see if i’m falling short, so I can make amends.
Everything gets better with time
… and a lot of dedication, practice, intentionality and loads of consistency. I wrote this down today after experiencing a lot of anxiety about “putting myself out there”, as well as the quality of my writing. So this is my reminder (and yours too) to put in the work, and the results I want will definitely come.
Give the benefit of the doubt.
This is a lesson I’m constantly teaching myself, because when it comes to jumping to conclusions, I am quite the pro. A lot of times, people do things and make decisions that have absolutely nothing to do with us. We aren’t exactly the star of everyone else’s show, so it's necessary not to take every action of others so personally.
Stop caring about what other people think.
Okay… this is quite unrealistic. At least in my opinion. I think it’s okay to care about what others think, to an extent. We all do and anyone who says they don’t care one single bit, is most definitely lying. (I mean we have partners, family and friends we love… its quite impossible to not give a single damn). However, what I think is important, is to not care about the opinions of others so much that it prevents you from living your life or doing what it is that you truly want. Keep doing you, regardless of how you might initially feel and after a while, I can tell you for sure that you will stop caring so much.
Be yourself.
You have probably heard this fiftyleven times (word to Bey :)) and you’re hearing it again. Please be yourself. Very cliché, but seriously, everyone else is taken. It’s the least, and equally the best and greatest thing you can do for yourself. Spend time with yourself, self-reflect, understand who you are, your interests, etc, and stay true to that person. Bend or change for who?? Who are they?? Lmao please! From personal experience, I can tell you one of the major perks- you attract the very best of people who are meant for you. And that is pretty fantastic.
Lastly, lay your bed each morning.
Keep an organised space- it does wonders for your mental state. Trussst me.
(I may or may not be slacking in this aspect *sometimes*. LOL. I do my best please.)
N.B: Shoutout to my parents for encouraging me to pick up writing again, particularly my dad who pushed me to open this account. And my lovely friends as well, for the much needed support, and offering to proofread and edit <3.
