It’s just hair.
One thing about me: I really love hair. I enjoy trying out new hairstyles, changing things up. As I’m getting one hairstyle in, I am usually thinking of what I’m going to have done next. And after that too. Basically, I find hair very interesting. Which is why I decided to write about it.
So I have natural hair. Specifically type 4C hair, the kinkiest, coiliest and most delicate hair type on the natural hair spectrum. And as I like to say, it is also the one with the most personality and character. I mean… what other hair type can defy gravity and look entirely different as often as the owner wishes, without altering chemically or permanently, simply because of factors like water and heat?
And as most of us might know, this hair type is one that A LOT is often said about, some positive, a lot definitely negative. In the process of thinking about how I wanted this article to go, I started remembering some of the funny, ignorant and outright rude comments I’ve gotten in the past, and recently too, about my hair. So, I thought it’d be interesting to start off by sharing them.
1. One time at work, I was taking a headcount of everyone present, as some items were going to be shared during an event that was happening later in the day. So I get to one of the floors in the building, then banter about food with a lady in one of the offices. And out of the blue, a colleague says to me, “why haven’t you made your hair? Is it that you don’t have money to do it?”. When he said this, I immediately started wondering where exactly he got this strange audacity from, to not only make that kind of absurd statement, but to say that to someone he was just meeting for the first time. Also, my hair was tied up into a bun on that day. It was already “made”.
2. While at work, on another occasion, my boss asks me to come into his office to have a brief chat. Now on this day, if I can remember very clearly, I had my hair packed up in a bun as well. But this time, with some hair left out in the front- the cutest hairstyle really and equally one of my favourite ways to style my hair. As I get into my boss’ office, he pauses, laughs a bit, and makes a statement about how I wear my hair to work quite often. Afterwards he goes “I really like how you don’t even send”, which roughly translates to “I really like how you don’t give a shit”, in reference to me having my hair out. I found his statement very interesting, because why should simply wearing my own hair be a pointer to how tough and confident I supposedly am? Why did something as simple as that have to be a statement?
3. I was out shopping for groceries in the African market while I was in uni, and as usual, I had my hair out. Then this black guy with locs comes over to me, and I can’t exactly remember if the prefix was “Nubian” or “black” or some entirely different word, but I do remember very clearly that he called me a Queen. Again, in reference to my hair. This one was just a very hilarious moment.
4. I was at the salon very recently, combing out my hair and getting ready to have it braided. Then this random lady seated beside me starts going on unsolicited, about how I’ve just “spoilt” my hair and how it would have been much better if I had just gone blonde, which is a lot subtler than my current hair colour- a very sharp gingery-gold. The very first thought that came to mind was, “who even asked this one?”. And why when it comes to natural hair, we always have to play it very careful and safe.
I’ll stop here.
The whole point of sharing these experiences, is to kind of show how strong opinions are instantly formed about a person because of something as basic as wearing the hair that naturally grows out of your scalp. Which should not be so. It is just hair.
My friend and I were having a conversation very recently, about how, in my own words, dramatic the “natural hair community” can be. A very specific example we spoke about, is how terms like “crown” and so on are used to describe our hair. I do not think there is particularly anything fundamentally wrong with this, and the motive is quite clear to me: it was not socially acceptable for a long time, so there is a need to “hype it up”, for lack of a better word. I believe however, that part of the steps to seeing it as normal is to see and refer to it in speech, as what it is- just hair.
For me, a big part of seeing it as just hair, is learning to not take it too seriously. Like I mentioned in the fourth example, we are constantly told to play it safe. I see it all the time, natural hair influencers with one caption or the other about how “heat is an enemy of natural hair” and “dye will ruin your hair”, and a new one I came across very recently- a couple influencers speaking against applying hair oils and butters (???). So because of this, we often limit how much we experiment with our hair, and actually enjoy it. Everything works out just fine with proper hair care, but this isn’t a natural hair “how to” post, so I won’t go into much detail about this.
“If you do anything this year, have more fun with your hair. Dye it a bold colour, buy a new wig or do a big chop and embrace your head shape. There are so many options, you don’t have to conform”.
An excerpt from an article by Ebuni Ajiduah, a British trichologist. And it’s really what I’m trying to say. Feel free to live your best hair life.
So yes. Natural hair is not the thing you revert to because you’re broke, definitely not a revolutionary thing done by bold and rebellious women only. Or to show some kind of “bravery”. We also don’t have to take it too seriously. It is what it is. It is just hair.
